Planet of the Bear 2: Bear on Yautja Prime

[DonaldCengXiongAzuma]

Chapters:

• Babel (Prologue)
• The arrivals of the bears.
• A deal.
• Bjornsson'd clones (An experiment).
• Invasion on Planet Xenomorph.
  
• The death of queen mother alien.
• Revenge of the xenomorphs.
• The Yautaja to earth.

[DonaldCengXiongAzuma]

Prologue:Babel and paralleled earths.

In the beginning when earth was created and after the fall of man, the earth began polluted with the influence of Evil Black Death. Humanity wanting to reach the Kingdom of Life at one point built the towel of Babel. The Three Creators came down and saw what was happening. The situation did not please the Three Creators one bit. During that time the world had only one language and there was no parallel earth. The Three Creators said to each other," Look! If they can acomplish this when they have just begun to take advantage of their common language and political unity, just think about what they will do later. Nothing will be impossible for them! Come, let's go down and give them different languages. Then they won't be able to understand each other." The Three Creators scattered them abroad on the face of the earth but also to different planets which is how many parrallel earth's with different cultures were form. While our earth is as it is today, planet of the Bears was once an earth filled with rich and wealthy people and the technology was more advance than on our earth. Other earth's like Yautaja Prime was the result of some of Evil Black Death's cohorts breeding with humanity there eventually turning them into the predators. Others like Xenomorph Prime where Evil Black death's most deform cohorts breaded with the animals and life overthere morphing their genes to become what they are today.

[DonaldCengXiongAzuma]

The parrallel earths had different cultures. The bears existed on only three earths (our earth and the planet of the Bears and earth 4).

[creature386]

Just from the names of the chapters, I'm seeing issues with establishing a common thread.

If what ties the story's beginning and end together is the conflict between the bears and xenomorph, I'd suggest turning your first chapter with babel into the prologue.

[dinosauria101]

So this is the story of the bears you mentioned in the random discussion thread?

[DonaldCengXiongAzuma]

Its not even the juicy part. The second chapter is actually where the story starts and where the species of bears and other animals and their interaction with the predators will be. At the moment, chapter 1 is like a pre requel.

[DonaldCengXiongAzuma]

Creature386, chapter 1 is the prologue 😊. That's was my intention. Patience, the real story starts at chapter 2.

[DonaldCengXiongAzuma]

I am a little busy atm. Give me till tonight or tomorrow night and some modifications will be done. In the meantime, what natural animals exist on Yautaja? I have not forgotten the  the Auvergne bear and the Estrucan bear.

[DonaldCengXiongAzuma]

Chapter 1: The arrivals of the bears.



After the destruction of the planet of the Bears on by a male topaz ice bear which became a cyan star (from the previous story), it seems the planet is gone. However, the bears live on in Yautaja Prime. Before the destruction of the planet, the bears and other animals left in spaceships in their human forms to planet Yautaja. The animals led by Artos H Verde and Avenger (formerly named Pedro) approached the Predator elder and were offered a place on the planet to stay. On that place, the bears felt like they were at home once again and could do as they like. The animals in human forms quickly built their society on the planet. The bears which led them to Yautja Prime, were given the best spot in the planet by all the animals as a reward for taking then to a new home.

Artos H Verde and Avenger took a breath of fresh air. Artos H Verde dream of rebuilding the society of bears once again on their new home and rule like they did before. All Avenger long for, however, was for more fights and even wanted to fight with some of the Predators as he considered them to be 'poachers'. Artos H Verde said, "Haven't you killed enough tigers and poachers in your life time. Calm down already". Avenger, however responded and said, "One is never enough and I will never stop until the death of all poachers in the universe". Artos H Verde retorted, " Just calm down, you will have your chance soon. These predators enjoy hunting for sport and you will be free in participating in some of the Battle Royales". Avenger said, "Thats much better!" and laughed.



As Artos H Verde and Avenger were talking, a few predators came to visit them at their base saying, "Our leader wishes to speak to you!". Artos H Verde and Avenger wondered what was required. As the bears followed the predators to meet their elder at their council meeting, the elder told them, "We have allowed you to stay but its not for free - it is only because you have something we need!"

"How dare you order us around !", Avenger retorted. Artos H Verde, however, calmed him down. What was required from the bears?

[DonaldCengXiongAzuma]

Chapter 2: A deal.

The predator elder said, "When you landed on this planet, you both signed a contract to us predators promising you would do whatever we say!" "Now this is what we want from you," said the predator elder. "We want ten of your best soldiers to go with us for war! Should one of your soldiers die, we will require a replacement for these soldiers. If you fulfill this request, you might stay in our planet in peace. Otherwise we will hunt down all of your kind and friends!" Avenger who was ready to fight was about to say, "Bring it on!"However, before the black grizzly could say a word, he was interupted by Artos H Verde who said to the predator elder. Perhaps we can fulfill your request. Take twenty of our followers with you. These were ten averungne bears and ten Estrucan bears to start with". Our averungne bears are as large as our sun bears while our Estrucan bears might weigh only up to 200kgs at max. However, he is still a powerful fighter. The averungne bears can take on 5 ft 3 inch human forms while the Estrucan bears can take on 5 ft 8 inch human forms. The predator elder said, "I will test your bears against our animals. If they survive, they will join us on our mission. Otherwise its your duty to supply is with more soldiers:

• Ten Averungne bears (can take human form)
• Ten Estrucan bears (can take human form)
• Ten predators horses
• Ten predator dogs (used by super predators to track down prey)
• Ten predator blood pigs
• Quatza-Rij (one of the fiercest creatures indigenous to Yautja Prime).
  
• Vy'drach (a wing beast on the planet)
  
• Avenger, the black grizzly himself.
• Three rebel predators
• One super predator.

Avenger volunteered to participate as he wanted to go to Xenomorph Prime. Secondly, he wanted to kill predators (which he hates as much as poachers). Thirdly, he wanted to kill Quatza-Rij in order to be allowed to go off hunting by himself. As a tradition, young Yautja hunters always hunt in groups of three. They are sent out in packs and must kill a single Quatza-Rij as a team in order to be recognized as adult clan members. Only after years of hunting, do the most skilled and experienced Yautja try to kill a Quatza-Rij on their own. If successful, they can break away from their pack and are allowed to travel off-world to hunt bigger game.Since Avenger is now a resident of planet Yautja, he knows the laws applies to him as well and Avenger wants the freedom to hunt whenever he likes without taking orders. To be continued tomorrow.............

[creature386]

I wanted to write you feedback for the first chapter, but now the second is already out, so let's do them separately.

Your first chapter is one of my favorite pieces of your writing. You did take my advice on establishing a common thread to heart and established a hook for the rest of the story.

Your next chapter follows the hook nicely.

Just little tip on dialogue, you shouldn't put lines of multiple speakers in one paragraph.
Paragraph are used to distinguish speakers, so each speaker should get his own paragraph.

[DonaldCengXiongAzuma]

Quatza-Rij

[DonaldCengXiongAzuma]

(Chapter 2 continues). Avenger took a spear with him as he wanted to kill the Quatza-Rij for himself but he knows that he will have the super predator as his competitor. Therefore he ordered the Estrucan bears to attack the predator dogs. A fierce fight broke out. The Estucan bear had better grappling abilities but the predator dogs were tougher. Avenger ambushed a rebel predator and stole a few weapons. Avenger (in his human form) wore the predator suit. The other two rebel predators assumed that Avenger was their companion until they saw a dead body of the predator but it was too late as Avenger took advantage of the situation and killed them. Super predator arrived and killed the estrucan bears. Avenger in the meantime took down the blood pigs and predator horses. The super predator took down the averugne bears using its sheruken. In the meantime, Avenger shot down Vy'drach and made a shield and toughen his armor using its skin. Avenger and the super predator finally engaged in a brawl. Super predator wondered why a human can be so strong forgetting the person is actually a 5000 black grizzly in his true form. Both Avenger and the super predator possessed the ability to dodge each others laser from their respective plasma rifles. Avenger waited to get close enough to the super predator before overpowering the latter but abruptly turning into his true form, a 5000 pound black grizzly. Avenger than killed the super predator before turning back into his human form and fighting with Quatza-Rij using the super predator's spear. The Quatza-Rij was immensely powerful but with much persistence, Avenger killed the creature without even using his bear form. 
Avenger approached the predator elder with Quatza-Rij's head and demanded his right to go hunting solo. The predator elder seeing that the laws of the planet applies to all its residence, granted Avenger (Pedro) permission to go on hunting missions solo. Avenger planned to invade Xenomorph Prime ahead of the predators.

[DonaldCengXiongAzuma]

Chapter 3:Bjornsson'd clones (An experiment).

Artos H Verde still had to supply the predators with ten of their best soilders as the Averungne and Estucan bears were killed by the super predator. The predator elder said "I am very impressed with your performance Avenger and since you have killed not just any ordinary predator but our best warrior. This plasma gun is yours and so are the weapons of our best warrior. Furthermore, since you have killed a Quatza-Rij, you are now free to act on your own devices and hunt solo. However, should you betray us, we will hunt you down and don't you forget that!" Avenger already had plans to attack Xenomorph Prime. Artos H Verde who was happy to enjoy his life of luxury supplied the predators with the clones of Bjornson. 

These clones were made when Artos H Verde extracted some samples from Bjornson's preserved dead body which they kept in storage. These clones came to life within a few hours and had no will of their own. These clones are able to take commands well. Like Bjornsson,which can morph into teal polar bears at will and unlike Bjornson who was killed by Avenger back on the planet of the Bears, these clones can sustain their red polar bear form. The predators sent the ten clones against a Quatza-Rij each.

These clones knew all 170 moves in shaolin kung fu making them formidable even in human form. These mind controlled clones easily killed a Quatza Rij and were approved suitable to accompany the predators in their mission to Xenomorph Prime. Artos H Verde also supplied Avenger with ten similar clones as well. As Avenger left for Xenomorph Prime, Artos H Verde thought to himself, "With enough of Bjornson's clones, Yautja Prime will be mine!" Artos H Verde didn't care what happened to Avenger whom he viewed only as a powerful asset to help him accomplish his purpose which is almost done.

In spite of Avengers power, Artos H Verde wanted everything for himself.While Avenger and the best predators were going hunting. Artos H Verde lined up an army of bears, elephants, rhinos, hippos, lions, tigers, etc to battle with the predator elders.


The predator elder was only too happy to receive the clones as they would be the ones to tank the predators and will be used in the front line.

[DonaldCengXiongAzuma]

I apologise if chapter 3 is a little dull. I will try to make the next chapter more interesting. The invasion to planet Xenomorph is going to be another great battle Royale.